Run Like a Blithering Idiot
by Malveillant
Summary: xXOneShotXx Feeling down and depressed, Ryou is at a loss and running like an idiot... Then, he finds a comforting friend. And, while at a cafe, something happens... Done in two minutes. Flames will rot.


Disclaimer: I don't own YuGiOh! Whatsoever.

OH MY GOD. You guys are going to have to forgive me on this HORRID, HORRID, HORRID little piece… I just wrote it today, took me like, two hours… it's like really crappy, really short, and in a style and technique I'm not used to. I tried something a little different, so please don't eat my liver! I need it yet! Wait till I'm a fifty year old drunk! _(Sobs uncontrollably) _WAAA! Gomen Nasai! And, Megums! I think my next thing or whatever is going to have you in it! Yay! Lmao, I got this idea when my mum told me that I was running like a valley girl after I had just read a line somewhere about blithering buffoons. Enjoy!

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**Début**

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Running like a maniac with no purpose, a boy ripped and leaped his way through a crowded street, making sure he wasn't hitting anyone or anything. His silver hair beat out behind him as he lunged over a small dog. The people who saw him for a split second before he was gone asked why he was running, they didn't ask him, but they asked themselves or the person standing next to them.

He knew his own answer, and they would never know… He was running because he had nothing left… because he was alone… because the man that he had loved didn't love him, but someone else instead. He had cried, yes, but now all he wanted to do is run… and… do something that people would remember him for… or for at least a day or two…

Still taking long strides though the street and gaining queer looks, he switched his sight upward, to the tops of the buildings… and which one would be the easiest to climb up. He found the perfect one, a complex that had stairs on the inside to get up with… how quick and efficient it would be… He veered wildly and ran to the Duplexes door, jerking it open brutally.

It had a small, white, plain hallway that led to the ceiling stairs… he only had a little more to run and he wouldn't bother anyone ever again. He sped down the hallway and when he was half way there, a low, feminine voice cried out "Holy SHIT! FUCK, BOY! Don't kill me!"

he lurched forward, catching himself with the wall as he looked back to see what had happened.

"Oh! I'm so dreadfully sorry! I-"

"Pfft, why are you sorry…? You just startled me, that's all… But I should be apologizing… I'm the fat ass lying in the very middle of the hallway…" He stuttered as he nearly tripped over a woman, his stumble making him look quite ridiculous and like an idiotic klutz… what made him even clumsier was that he didn't see the girl in the first place.

The woman, curling her legs underneath and catching him by grabbing the seat of his pants quite easily, sighed gently and sweetly for her size.

"but… I-I… I didn't hurt you, did I…?" He asked, his rump being let go as he turned to face her, concern welling so deep within him that he felt that he might cry… how people's lives could he mess up by stumbling upon them…? Acting weak and helpless…

An inviting, warm, and loud bellowing laugh came from her large chest, shaking her merrily as her smile broke out and widened with happiness… She was beautiful with that happiness… not a fantastical beauty queen, no… but she had enough mundane beauty mixed with happiness to make him ease up significantly. Her loud laugh, though soothing in a humorous manner, didn't calm him all the way, however

"Jesus Christ… No, you didn't hurt me… With the way you look, hunny, I doubt that you could hurt anything… You're all skin and bones and I'm just… well… a marshmallow designed like a tank!" She tilted her head up, her brown and gold laced hair skimming across the skin of her forehead as her eyes focused on him; the hair was pulled up with a big, vice like clip, lots of curls, waves, and locks falling everywhere. He stopped breathing for a second, and then breathed as the huge pupils rested on his, beckoning to him.

Her eyes were encased with dark makeup and she had black, pointed tears on the bottom and sides of her eyes… a little dead looking, but it suited her. She was, like her statement, a marshmallow like person, large and very soft looking, and like the cushy confection, her skin was near the same colour as it.

He gasped slightly as she stood, though she and he were of the same height, which was also a little weird because all the females around were up to his chest anyway, she looked like she could break him with one swift swing. Her shoulders were broad and rounded, and from them, long, buckled arm warmers went down to her thumb and wrapped around her fingers. Her chest was covered in a black lace tank top and a form hugging fishnet top, revealing the nice, and also reasonably large, bosom she had…

His face tinged as he quickly switched his sights to something else. On her bottom was a ruffled and pouf lace skirt, going to her knees, below that were violet and black striped leggings, and on her feet were simple slippers that looked like they belonged in a ballet. He snapped out of it, startled slightly as the woman chuckled

"Did you zone out or something…? Hmm? You looked a bit out of it there as you were staring at my chest… Something odd, really… You see, guys never look at my chest… So that's why I was worried." She gave him a roguish wink as he blushed furiously, his face feeling like a furnace.

"But you have a nice chest!" He blurted, nearly dying as he realized the devastatingly embarrassing comment he had just made. "Oh MY! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, I-ah… Uh…" He covered his face with one hand as he turned profile, his eyes gazing at the floor. She only laughed, however, seeming as if she was the spirit of happiness herself. And if she was, he would do anything for her to give him some of her jolly demeanor.

"You're very sweet, d'you know that…?" His head shot up as she grinned gently at him, her eyes showing kindness and, what he hadn't seen in a long while, love.

_Why had he never shown me LOVE! _

_He doesn't love me like I loved him… _

_Why can't I be loved! _

The tears did come as she grinned at him, and a dry sob caught in his throat as he turned quickly and tried to run, but her confused voice held his feet in place… his body leaned into running away though, how he wished to run away and not bother this person with his pathetic-ness

"Oh my god, what's wrong…? Did I do something…? I'm sorry… You're a shy type, aren't you…? I should've never been so forward with you… God… I knew I was going to make some poor little Japanese boy cry! I'm sorry… Are you going to be alright, Hunny…?" He felt a hand on his shoulder as the girls body slid around the hallway sides so she was in front of him, both of her hands soothingly rubbing his shoulders.

Her doing this only made him crumple, and he covered his face as a huge, strangled sob was choked out of him.

"Oh shit…" she sighed, worried. And, what she did next surprised him. She hugged him. A total stranger that was bawling in front of her… she hugged him.

"Well… I don't know what exactly to say to make you feel better… and I'm not the smartest or the most attractive person to be seen with, but d'you wanna vent to me…? Like… We can go get some tea or something… To make you feel a little relaxed…" This woman… He breathed in, his tears and nose making that loud sniffing sound as he embraced her, burying his face into her warm shoulder.

His lithe, cold body shook as his fingers twined themselves into the fishnet of her shirt and how his ribbed frame molded into the warm fat of her stomach and chest. He had always envied fat people and their warmth; they were always so much more… human than he.

The tears had started to dry as the two of them just stood there in the hallway, the woman's hands circling around his back, massaging him. She was cooing small words, but he couldn't understand any of them, because they sounded as if they were in French. The one that sounded the most comforting and sing-song was…

"_Vous vous sentirez meilleur si vous pleurez sur mon épaule... Pleurezsur mon épaule... sur mon épaule... Mon épaule... "(1) _

"I…" he started, leaving the hug slightly as he brought his head out to look at her with a hint of humiliation "Would like that very much if we could go get some tea…" his last words were nearly a whisper as his embarrassment rose drastically again as did her smile.

"Aww… Let's go then! I know this awesome place, I was lucky to have found it wh-Wait! Hunny, what's your name…? She questioned, her eyes growing larger as she leaned forward so she could hear him answer.

"M-my name…?" the boy pointed to himself, blushing yet again "Well…" He breathed, gathering courage to look her in the eye

"It's Ryou Bakura. And, I would like to know yours…" He said quietly as they both started out of the apartment hallway, the two of them side by side, steps in complete equilibrium.

"I'm Chelsea Eliza Rose Marquette, very nice to meet you Ryou!" She grinned and winked at him again, making a small smile crack at the sides of his face.

"Oh! Is that a smile I see?" She asked dramatically while raising her brows high and pushing the door open for the two of them. Surprised at this, Ryou felt up at his mouth, seeing that the corners of his lips were definitely up.

"Why… I think it most certainly is." He joked as they began to walk down the side walk, their steps still in complete harmony.

**_-O-O-O-_**

"And… you loved someone who didn't love you back…" Chelsea said slowly, her black fingernail tracing the rim of her cup as she stared at me intently.

"Yes… Bakura…" his cheeks warmed as he lowered his eyes to the earthly coloured dining cloth covering the small table in the café. "I loved him so much… But he didn't love me… It's why I was running, to get away from it, you see." He said slowly, his own fingers ripping open a packet of thick crème to pour into his White Dragon cup of hot goodness, or as others called it, tea.

The clear, tan-ish liquid was turned opaque and taupe coloured as he stirred in a tad of sugar with the tip of his spoon.

"You're gay…?" She asked, brining her cup to her lips, blowing on it first before she sipped. He shook his head, his face tinting slightly as he took a drink as well.

"I'm… well… I'm what you could call… Bisexual… I have an attraction for girls as well. I know it's mental, but… I'm just born like that I guess…"

"Oh, don't worry… I'm all for lesbians and gays and what not… I mean, you love who you fall in love with. And you're attracted to who you're attracted to… I mean, if I fell in love with a girl and I found her immensely attractive, I wouldn't want people calling me a freak of nature… it's that kinda perspective you gotta have, I think… You gotta put yourself in the homo shoes…"

She waved her hand, closing her eyes and making an air-headed look. "But, I just don't like the ones that like beat you up and are all 'Do you have a problem with me being gay!' and all that crap… When they do that, it's like they're posers and doing it for attention… I… whoops, sharing too much info… Sorry." She grinned nervously as she sat up straight in her chair, rubbing her sides a bit as if she had just made a terrible mistake.

"No! It's quite alright. I feel the same way… But, I don't think I'm one to shout it out like that."

"No, you're too cute to do that… And, I'm glad you're bisexual… because now I can have a shot at ya… That darn Bakura…" She joked, making him smile "Couldn't he see what a lovely prize he had waiting for him…?" She winked at him again. If she was hitting on him, it was working well because he was near putty in her hands.

He smiled back, he couldn't' remember the last time he smiled this much, but it most definitely felt good. It felt good to laugh freely and it felt good to be innocently flirted with… unlike the girls who were also rapists at his school. They never left him alone.

"Anyway… don't mind me and my stupidity… continue with your story, hunny…" She reached over the table and gently brushed her fingertips over the rough of his knuckles, making him feel safe.

"Okay… Well, I guess… the story to deal with Bakura and I is a very long one… and one that I'm not so sure to let anyone know about yet…" Said Ryou as he propped his arms on the table, the bones of his joints could stab someone. Chelsea mimicked him

"That's fine… and… Well, what made him not love you…?"

"I don't think he ever loved me… No… He just used me…" He brought his hand up and rested his chin in his palm, taking another sip of his now lukewarm drink. He sighed, setting the cup down.

"Bakura… doesn't have the capacity to love the lot of people like others… he's very different… Exotic in an evil, trance like sort of way…"

"Mmmm…" she hummed attentively, pouring the two of us some fresh hot liquid.

"But… I found out, that he had been sleeping with another man… someone I know…"

She gasped, putting her hand to her mouth as her brows showed great sympathy "I'm sorry! That must have been horrible… finding them like that…"

"No…" he said with a hint of scorn, "They found me and deliberately had sex in my apartment while I was there…"

"Oh!" She cried, looking as if she had been shot in the chest. He looked at her sadly, nodded, and then looked to one of the coffee makers behind the counter preparing something full of froth and chocolate. He turned back only to be surprised; her face had morphed into an angry look, almost furious as her face darkened horrifically. It startled me a bit as she growled.

"I don't care how much you love this twisted fuck, Ryou… but… If he were here right now, I'd go up to him and knock his lights out… then probably run like a hot blooded bull just saw Dorothy's ruby slippers…" Ryou laughed at her analogy, relaxing as he saw that she put the look on for show.

"Well, I felt like doing that too… But, if I tried, he'd kill me…"

"Literally!" She asked, her eyes widening as her voice pitch rose in shock

"Well… I don't… Think… No, just come close… I think…"

"God… What a bastard…" She said breathlessly, taking a swig from her cup. Ryou nodded, taking a drink as well. Setting his cup down, Ryou lifted his head up and was about to speak, but he stopped, his eyes widening in terror…

"Ryou…? What's the-Oh… My… God…" She turned around and saw who he was looking at. Bakura and Malik had just walked into the café; both of them were smirking and chuckling to themselves like lovers do, or like insane lovers do.

" Chelsea… I think-"

"Ryou…"

Ryou's talking was stopped as she said his name, her tone dangerously low.

"I think… we should pay him some… let's say… Tribute… to your ex-lover and his boytoy…" she looked back at him, her eyes twinkling mischievously as a deviant smirk rose on her cheeks. Before he could reply, she grabbed her tea, drank the whole thing in one slug, smashed it back on the table, stood up, and pulled Ryou along with her as she headed towards the two at cash register.

Ryou gulped as 'He' noticed them first… and when 'He' did… the most horrible, soul consuming, hideous, tooth filled grin graced his features. His mocha skinned lover then saw them, and to spite Ryou, he snaked his arms around Bakura's waist from behind. That and a small, snide smirk were his only actions.

Ryou ignored him and felt Bakura's eyes tear through his heart… But he also felt Chelsea's round, baby-like hand give his long, boney, and encasing-like one a squeeze… and that squeeze made him sturdy.

Ryou glared at Bakura, taking him aback a little.

"My… what do we have here…?" Bakura asked rhetorically, trying to make up for being slightly startled "You have a WOMAN on your arm…?" he tried to humiliate him, eying Chelsea up and down like a hungry dog, Malik doing so as well. They both laughed as their eyes stopped at hers and he worried that they were going to make fun of her… but they didn't, thankfully… If they would have, it probably wouldn't have mattered… because something in Chelsea's eyes, which had a guise of merriment, made them screech out that they were pissed as that bull that saw the red shoes.

"Do you two find me funny…?" She asked in a sort of an enraged tone, making them stop laughing at once.

"No…" Bakura said, regaining his senses, his eyes boring themselves into her again "I was just thinking of how I could steal you away from Ryou…" he licked his upper teeth as Chelsea smiled as evilly as he did. "I'm very good at doing what he doesn't like…" He chuckled to himself.

"Well… If you're going to steal me from Ryou…" she looked to Ryou and winked on the side of where they couldn't see her do so. She then turned back, cocking her head slightly "Then, you need to show me how well you kiss… Here… right on my cheek…"

She turned her head slightly again, pointing to the round of her face. Bakura's and Malik's brows both rose into the air… but that didn't last for long as Ryou's hand received another squeeze when Bakura came and said "Alright…"

He took two steps forward and leaned down into Chelsea's face, making Ryou look greatly distressed… But, to make Ryou's look change drastically… something smashed into Bakura's lips…

A small fist crunched into them with all the speed and strength of a small elephant. At the force of the punch, Bakura stumbled backwards and landed on his rear as he groaned and covered his now bloody mouth. This brutal, yet sort of comical act, made Malik and Ryou cry out in surprise.

Chelsea just simply stood over the fallen Bakura with wide eyes and her fist where it had collided with his face. She mimed words but nothing came out as Malik kneeled next to Bakura and tried to help him.

"I punched him…?" She mouthed, looking over to Ryou and then to Bakura again to see that Malik didn't succeed at helping and was smacked at.

Ryou, who had been staring in awe, started to laugh, making Bakura shoot daggers of death through his eyes and into Ryou.

"I punched a guy… OH MY GOD! AGH!" Chelsea then screamed in fear, looking quite hilarious herself as she stared at her hands wildly, her head erratically moving back and forth, left to right, doing several double takes. The few people who were left in the café had sweat drops the size of Mt. Fuji. Then, while she ignored the people in the café, Chelsea switched sites down to Bakura who looked like he was about to kill her.

"Ryou… I think it's best if we… RUN!" Chelsea squee-ed as Ryou gasped in surprise when he was yanked out of the coffee shop at a break neck speed. When they were out side, he looked around in a daze and was pulled again and forced into a run, making the people standing around look at him queer tonight once more.

He couldn't help but giggle as Chelsea squealed in a deranged sort of delight and fright as they started to dash down the street, this time his flight was with someone and he wasn't alone… and that made him feel warm and… what he yearned for, loved.

Malik and Bakura were right on their tails, probably thinking of ways to torture them in the most inhumane ways possible… but, if they did catch them, Ryou wouldn't worry as much and this time, he'd even help Chelsea beat them up… But, at this very moment, He thought that it would be best he and Chelsea would continue shriek in humorous horror and to Run like blithering Idiots.

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**Finition**

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AGH! Oh my god. I know, really short and really crappy. I'm sorry! I had like a major plot bunny! I'M SORRY! _(Hugs the reader)_ I'm just sad, that's all… Meh, well, if you DID like it, Review 'PLEASANTLY!' Flames will rot. _(hug) _And, if I ever punched Bakura… I'd probably die.

(1)- "You'll feel better if you cry on my shoulder… Cry on my shoulder… on my shoulder…. My shoulder…"


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